I was watching Loose Women (a UK day time TV show) on bank holiday Monday, and there was a topic about shouting at children, is it worse or the same as smacking?
In my opinion it all depends on the situation. My child is coming up to two years old, and he has been extremely testing at times, and i will be honest, i have shouted at him, then immediately felt guilty.
I have never shouted at him in public, and don’t ever intend on doing so, and i have never smacked him. I believe in instilling discipline, but in the right way, not through aggression, as i think this it self can cause issues for children in future behaviour.
We are all susceptible to a bad day, and sometimes it just can’t be helped, but i think there is line.
I remember taking the bus to work, and there was a woman with her daughter that got on a couple of stops after me. Every day without fail, this woman shouted at her daughter about various issues, making everyone feel uncomfortable. A time that particularly sticks out to me, is her shouting at her daughter for not brushing her teeth. In an aggressive tone “Did you brush your teeth??”, daughter replies’ yes, mother replies “NO YOU DIDN’T, COZ YOUR BREATH STINKS!”. I found this absolutely disgusting behaviour by this woman, towards this poor innocent child. I didn’t know the woman or her situation, but to me it just seemed she was taking out all her frustration on to this poor little girl, and in that moment i felt embarrassed for her. The altercations that could have arisen if other children from her school were on the bus, could be devastating.
I think in a scenario like that, it’s hard not to judge, and i think can be compariable to smacking.
My friend was flying back home recently, and she mentioned that she was shocked by the behaviour of a mother towards her toddler. As we all know it’s perfectly normal for a child to act up during travelling, especially on a flight, but this woman appeared to have no patience for her child. She was getting easily irritated by him, shouting, and aggressively handling him, and then passing him along to her mother in law to calm him down because she simply didn’t want to deal with him. Again i cannot be certain of this womans situation, but it can appear bad to those observing this. In this situation, i wouldn’t say that’s worse than smacking, more a poor reflection on the woman in question.
But i cannot judge, I have been in a situation when i have been extremely exhausted, and my child just wouldn’t calm down, and probably made worse by me, because i was feeling worked up and he could sense it. In that situation i’ve asked my husband to take over, and he manages to calm him down with no trouble. So i think, when you need to, its ok to step away for minute, catch your breath and than carry on, otherwise it can be very easy to lose your cool.
Overall, do i think shouting can be worse, or the same as smacking? considering the above, it could.
What’s your opinion?
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